PUBLIC GARDEN.. HYDERABAD'S FIRST BIG GARDEN/ PARK

Yesterday, 26th november 2011, my dearest friend kumar was going to listen to swamy paripurnananda at lalitha kala thoranam. I was not keen and ready to listen to spiritual discourse and preferred being with my spirit. Luckily it stuck to me that i can drop him there and spend time at public gardens walking and sitting all by myself.I loved my decision. The walking was a pleasure particularly because there was not much crowd and i could see the same trees which were there since 1975.. The walking was a pleasure and fortunately it is still being maintained well. I didnt beleive that i was so near to the crowded place outside.

The museum, jubilee hall, the lake, the big park with in the garden and the masjid were all intact.just went down the memory lane and remembered all those nice innocent things that we did as children. Going to public garden was very special and it would happen only once every 2 months.We would get ready with all excitement and wait for the bus. The food and water would be packed. Water in that solid glass bottle and food in steel dabbas.

We children would play hide and seek, chinamchaani, meaning chase and catch the thief. And ofcourse, dastee round round.. gather in a circle and the player would place the handkerchief on someone's behind and that person has to identify and chase the player and catch before he finishes one circle and sits in his place. Very rarely we would  buy baloons and play orelse it was all the running around, and not getting tired. No Tv to run back hometo watch favorites and yes we would take the radio and listen to Vividh Bharathi. ( transistor was just getting popular replacing big fat Status symbol radios) 

The only money spent if any was on the desi bhel puri( dont remember what was it called then) from a guy who would never cut tomatoes and put lemon for us. But that was rare and home special food was there for eating. We would never get tired of being there and hated going back home.

Adults would say, let us watch the train and then go home. there was one train which would come at 8 pm and its engine would set off  to set right the coaches ,and it was called shunting. We would love to see engine brings coaches and run up and down.

just cannot reproduce the excitement of watching the train and the engine and the shunting process. I also vividly remember the sad feeling when we had to go home. Such raw innocent happiness is not experienced these days at all.

After Grusha and other kids were born in the family, we would all go to Public gardens in 1998 to 2000 and try to relive the same. We were partly successful but now we had to buy several things including cool drinks and toys. The only 2 things which were common were the desi bhelpuri and Sugar cane juice.  manualSugar cane bandi was replaced with automated bandi. This is a relief as i would always feel misreable when they were extracting sugar cane juice manually.

i relived all the good of the childhood in public gardens and very happy to notice that not much has changed inside and that good feeling and clamness is still there. That lake is still maintained decently and the extension of the park is also very decent.

Thank all the people who are responsible to keep the PURITY intact.

ALEXANDER HAIR CUTTING SALON

One guy suddenly got up after his shave and started shouting at the person who did the shaving for him. I was startled and confused as he threatened the hair salon worker with police complaint and said he will get him arrested and take severe action. I mean how can anyone talk such extreme and drastic? Admitted the boy mustn’t have done the shave to his satisfaction but such reaction and walk away? This boy got so demoralized that i wondered if ever he will regain his confidence and work properly. Despite being cut on shave on my neck region by the owner himself (seriously truthful and no exaggeration at all) i pacified that boy and asked him to take it easy by giving several examples of success failure dynamics and people’s attitudes hoping it will help him.

This incident made me recollect my child hood and the hair cutting salons. The owners always seemed confidence personified and knowledgeable. They would talk authoritatively on anything from cricket to cinema to politics. Most of their knowledge was based on newspaper, Radio and commonsense. All the customers would seek the owner’s opinions on issues and he would exude total confidence as if he is going to decide the future of the country. It was all cute and everyone would listen to them. This was not pertained to one shop and this was the pattern of all owners. I always wondered at their confidence and the place seemed like power centre. They would order tea only to the elite and senior people and that was a privilege. I can’t forget the day when i was in intermediate when the tea was ordered for me and i was excited and volunteered to pay but was denied. Such was the time spent with importance there in such places.

It was in 1970’s that the movies like bobby, deewar, sholay , zanjeer got released and not in this order. All of us had so much information and trivia on movies that it surprises me sometimes as to how?  No net, no websites, no television and only screen and film fare were available. And these salons were the centres to read them. Homes were not allowed for such reading and we could not afford to buy them or take on a rent. Every fate of a politician and movie and cricket was decided at such places. Hence the wait and queue in the salon was not only felt worth but was exciting. There was also some camaraderie among people visiting. No impatience and no arrogance. There was hardly dettol and wonder if they ever used fresh blades or towels. There is no suggestion that this is preferable but that total fearlessness was the order in the absence of viruses.

Styles would be based on bollywood movies and that manual machine was a culprit as parents would insist on running the same for all children for short hair. It was a freedom and fun when we were allowed to go on our own but we could not go for more than an hour and definitely not other than morning.

When i was very young, they would put a plank in the wooden chair and then do the hair cutting. They day they stopped using that was the indication of growth. Another yardstick was when they would listen to us and stop using the machine and only use the scissors. Then of course, using of razor to get the finish beneath years and back of neck. Then shaving and the rest as they say is hair story. Hence the evolution was also indicated from that place. In that sense it was so much part of the cultural context and the growing up.

These centres were the places of informal research centres, opinionated knowledge based places and discussion platforms and more objective and healthy than the ones that happens on the news channels in the name of experts. Gone are those times and salons of such culture is rare. Now we have hugely hygiene centres, expensive and very impersonal. The tip paid to the performer is part of this new culture and nothing wrong. Earlier that smile and a warm thank you after a deadly no extra penny hair massage was the order. Times change, tempers change and hence the warmth of the people.. lage raho , and everything as they say is for the good.

How can i forget the dream of going to Alexander hair cutting next to AIR opp assembly.. My god, it had AC and chairs had the recliner and probably get to see film stars. By the time i could fulfil the desire life had changed so much and the gap between Alexander and all salons became small. But i indeed went to that place for a special hair cut and shave 2 days before my marriage. Still remember with what pride and satisfaction i walked out.. indeed times change and so do people.

WHO IS A FAN????

Mallesh, 18 years,  is a labourer working in karimnagar in a small hotel, earning about 20 to 30 rupees a day and gets to eat some food free from his hotel. He comes from a small village . vamsi, 20 years  is working in rajamundry with a coconut vendor earning 15 to 20 rupees a day, his living and eating taken care of. Saidulu , 21 years working for a mechanic shed for 50 odd rupees in cuddapah is also from a small town. Seenu is working in a hair cut saloon in Hyderabad and is from nalgonda .

All of these people have the same religion, the ardent indescribable admiration, craze, life sacrificing liking for telugu movies and telugu stars. The names of the stars do not matter for us, but the reality of these people does. Someone is making a movie for some star and there is all the business that is involved in the whole process. The entire business module success rests primarily on these kind of vulnerable people who make the movie hit by putting all the savings for their stars. Most of them do not have the 2 square meal to eat, can’t support their families, they have no clue how their next will be.. But their unstinted support, following, loyalty is undying and very touching.

The stars are gods for them.. they come for the audio launches, success meets, celebrations from faraway places and did not ever understand how they manage to reach the venue and be there to cheer and set the hall on fire with their positive vibrations and only one thing on their mind.. to see their star speak, smile and be happy. Can there be any unconditional love than this? Most of the times, the fans won’t even get to have a second glance as they are seated so far away. The feeling that they are part of this is enough to sustain them till the next function and they just survive.. The stars give them energies, the hope and just about everything.. Not material things like money etc..  In that sense, the stars are so blessed.

There are endless stories on how some of them do not eat food properly for several days to be able to spend the money for high ticketed premier show early in the morning or how the fans keep watching the same movie dozen times. In some cases they even watch the same movie endlessly to figure out why the movie did not do well. The blame can never be on the hero but all others and various factors and the hit can only happen because of the Hero. Being a fan is not madness as being mad also some rationality. Being a fan is not being emotional as emotions can also hurt. Being a fan is not a achievement as achievement have limits, and fan is fan is a fan who lives his life on the star. Hence there can never be a retirement for the star.

One has to know, interact and understand a typical fan to know what it means to be so. One should never make any judgement or belittle them. They are an amazingly innocent and honest people who live by their single formula goal, to see their stars succeed. Such unconditional love is the reality. The stars know every bit of this and also feel helpless on the repayment angle. But as they already do, they need to give more hits and that is how it can be repaid. Success is not easy but is less when compared to the perseverance and religiosity of these wonderful fans. Every star who has a fan is a blessed soul and that’s the property on which they can feel secured and assured. Can they? They should as the way it comes is only divine and is a blessing.

NADAAN PARINDEY ... GHAR AATE REHANA

I didn’t ever know or believe that i can talk to pigeons and only those pigeons that come and visit my balconies.  But since the communication is not so apparently two ways, i have my own observations and doubts. I don’t want to go google and know instantly all about them. I am willing to wait lifelong to know the answers myself as i feel i am loosing the habit and the need to discover on our own..

Some observations, probably know to all.  1) Pigeons love Puttnaalu pappu ( that daal used for making chutney with coconut) so much that they fight amongst themselves for a fast grab and fight ferociously between them.  2) There is a significant male domination and males do not allow female pigeons to eat peacefully.  3)  There is some family bondage and both the male and female protect the younger ones. 4) They don’t hatch the eggs when they are even vaguely touched by humans. 5) They have preference of eating places within the same house.. For instance they do not prefer to eat if you feed them on a bedroom balcony in normal conditions. 6) They get angry, excited, they are possessive. 6) They can also take humans for granted as they don’t fear people if they feed them regularly. Hence they are also intelligent enough to perceive danger and safety. 7) They understand our language better than we understand them.

What is most appalling is the way they hatch the eggs. They are so vigilant and watchful, OMG it’s very bewildering. The way they teach the younger ones to walk, fly without getting frustrated is to be seen to be believed. Don’t know at what point they get disconnect from the younger ones. I don’t know when they die? How they die? What will happen after their death? I don’t even want to know. For me its the same pigeons .. though i do make the difference.. its so easy not to have name, class, creed and all the yardsticks of separation.

They are very playful and can tease you no end if you are vulnerable.. They will walk inside house if you are seriously studying and distract you. They make sounds as if to say. Come on spot me.. they play hide and seek with me.  But i do i miss sparrows as i grew up with them in my school and early college days. They were different and their making of the nest is something of a great wonder of life. I feel some loss of essence in my life when these sparrows have become extinct, at least in most parts of Hyderabad. We have literally robbed the co existence of the living with us. What a pity? Slowly we have also disintegrated a lot. Joint families are gone.. Nuclear families are under threat and god its so scary. But the innocent pigeons, the nadaan parindey are so much fun to observe, learn. I love them and they are so essential part of my otherwise normal life. Thanks pigeons and keep coming to my balcony all the while. I won’t even obstruct you with washing machine or any modern gadget or the nets to prevent you. I promise..

SADA HAQ.. IMPRESSIONS ON ROCK STAR

The only one thing that can be criticized about rock star movie if at all is, if Imtiaz had made this movie to get a commercial hit, then he made a blunder. He knows the formula to appeal to the gallery and could have  easily made one. But it seemed more like the one which is straight from the heart. This movie grows on you like  all A.R.Rahman music. Take most of the albums of rehman and people liked after listening to it several times. In fact a classic book, scotch whisky, bitter gourd, and many such intense things are liked with times and experience. Rock star belongs to this category. OMG, how much intensity, how much depth, how much subtle and how much intrinsic.. It gets into the subconscious as it’s a very serious movie , a rhetoric on freedom, choices, love , music , achievement , standards, right, wrong ..  Each of these is said in a very abstract manner, yet hard hitting method. In that sense the movie is very engaging and one can’t watch this in a light hearted manner.

The best thing about the movie is Ranbir and his characterization. One wonders, if this could be the inspiration from Imtiaz own life, or else how can one get into such intricate details, most of it unsaid but still communicated. One has to love life, to like this movie. There is a rebellion in ranbir yet very loving, very possessive yet detached, and there are so many shades to his character that, it does not fit into black and white understanding. This is what the leading characters say about life. There are caught in a web called society and a chance meet is the discovery about their innate comfort with each other but not explicitly stated or admitted. It s too late for them and they missed one another.  They come together and destiny separates them.

They are willing to give up the passions for being together but they get incarcerated in their passions and compulsions. The treatment of the movie is at least 3 years ahead of time and editing is extremely innovative. The details in the screenplay is amazing and seems very complicated but actually too detailed.. The shot divisions, the lighting, are not like a typical Indian movie at all. It’s very perspective and real too.

What can one say about Rehman music.  Re recording is so aptly done that , at many points, there is just that natural ambience sounds and no music. The songs touch the deepest chord and aur ho, job hi chahoon, sada haq can be anthems for people in love. The lyrics are so much contemporary and the expression has the romantic poetry and also the rationality of future mind set.

Ranbir is the star of next 2 decades. He reminds one of Hrithik in koi mil gaya , aamir khan in few scenes, farhan akhtar, and Shah rukh khan in many other scenes. He is a complete actor and this movie gave him greatest scope to prove his prowess as there are so many shades to his character in the movie.

It’s an out and out Ranbir, imtiaz and rehman movie.. Nargis acted either as if it’s her 50^th movie or she is experiencing this in real life. If movie can be a space for philosophy and platform for issues, then this movie has plenty of issues concerning change, youth, society, patterns of thinking, stereo types , paradigms , and many more subtle issues. If you are a serious movie buff.... do not miss to watch this 2 times.. If you want a chilled movie and only regular time pass, avoid this as you will tend to damage the new trend of movie making ... A great intellectual, emotional and spiritual treat.. Imtiaz proved once again that he is a class apart and Rehman proves to himself how he can keep giving us immortal music.

There are movies that entertain, there are movies that make a mark, there are movies that are feel good that are classic and that are very successful and other wise... But rock star doesn’t belong to any category and its a reflection, it’s a novel, it’s a work of an art of philosophy.

DETACHMENT ... ONE MORE PERSPECTIVE

Detachment as a concept and as a word is probably used more often and in many situations these days and hence it’s also abused or misused.. As someone who is eternally striving to be detached, this perspective also can be read and yes judged and criticized. Being detached about this piece of writing is not ok.

The year 2011, people have become savages to comfort and technology and rightfully so. The press of the button or the switch or its equal is the way of life and the habit is so deep and vast that we don’t know any other way to live. The first such luxury was probably the bulb which used to glow with the press of the switch and then the fan and all the electrical appliances. It reduced the pains of lighting the home with a cumbersome process. That was just the beginning. Remember, or know the first time, we heard about the press of a button and how the scooter starts.  We didn’t have to kick was a huge relief. We have travelled from there to now ATM’s , black berries , freaky digital camera and appliances , to i pads, i phones to most technology and comfort that needs the use of fingers to get anything done or derive any happiness.  In that sense we are all more attached. This attachment has got in us the massive taken for granted attitude in just about everything and with that is the lineage of impatience and non tolerance. We don’t want to know or we tend to forget all alternative methods to get our things done.

Why should we be detached when everything is literally at our finger tips? Money can buy all of these and as the cliché goes it can’t buy the peace and happiness. We are talking of the mind when we talk about detachment and we are also meaning actual engagement of mind to have a detached feeling, until it becomes a habit. But the contrast is all technology is making our mind dull and drab. We don’t even need to memorize or remember as we have google. We don’t need to store anything as you tube does the job. Can anyone criticize these 2 wonders of modern world? Instead everyone might say to hell with detachment.....if it comes to preferring detachment to these wonders. This is still fair enough. What if the photon or data cards or internet fails on a day and people can’t access net? what if ATM crashes for a day and what if banks and all net processed activities go out of order for 2 days ?If life is so uncertain, can any of these be certain? Why is the dependency then, which is the root of attachment to anything in life. Dependency assumes taken for granted attitude and beings with it intolerance and impatience.

The only 2 things that we can take for granted and survive is mother and god.. For both these entities we have scant respect and for all other which can crash like pack of cards, we depend, we trust, we swear and we live by it. Understanding the 2 entities, means understanding of the detachment. One can read and know tons of articles and hundreds of books and listen to volumes of speeches on detachment. But the realization that detachment is the key for happiness for all can be experienced genuinely by understanding mother and god. Both of them have several qualities in abundance of which, sacrifice, empathy, understanding, immense patience, undeterred tolerance is few of them. They never expect anything in return and just keep giving in the respite that children’s happiness is their happiness. This quality of giving is more detached than anything that any scriptures can teach. Never ignore them and keep respecting and praying to be grounded and know the true essence of life. There are mothers and there are people with motherly qualities. There is hardly any difference.

Enjoy the comfort, live on the advancement of technology, and freak out on the best gadgets and lifestyle. But only the blend and balance of traditional thought, living and values with the modernity will give happiness and peace. The former teaches to separate pain from the product (Detachment) and the latter gives the immediate and momentary happiness. Painlessness is detachment and that will make us happy forever and ever. Detachment is never indifference nor does it have any negative attributes.

In fact detachment always multiplies the pleasure of anything as we are never feeling in secured of losing them as we don’t own anything in strict sense, not even our body on which we spend all our life. Body including fingers get us attached and soul consciousness which is permanent helps us to detach. In fact for all the rationalists detachment is actually the maintenance of individual identity without being arrogant, indifferent or egoistic. Everyone got to know, read and practise this mantra to have the everlasting happiness, peace and health.

B POSITIVE .....

Greater energies or surely same energies are spent in negativity. If a person is doing a creative thing , he spends lot of energy in putting it together and get a decent product. At the same time, someone could be waiting to see that as a failure and he or she spends all the time to watch and monitor on the same. The failure will get him or her the delight but he would have spent huge amount of energies on a negative plane and that is sure to affect the person in more than one way in the long run. On the contrary, the good energies spent on the creativity will only yield good positive energy even if there is a failure. The process of creating a good energy has the power of sending the great vibes around . Success has a energy that is very positive to all and not restricted to only the creator.

We often witness the dissipation of energies in all negative things. In any field more people are waiting for the failure as the successful people are only a minority. These people who wait for the failure thrive on their own inefficiency and hence they spread bad energy. One best instance is the movie field where all others are waiting for the failure and hence so many reviews at a speed of a sms or BBM.  People want failures in others and hence the negative vibes all around. Competition and competitiveness is different from wanting the failure.

News channels spend equal negative energies in bringing out a scandal or a controversy. So much negativity is filled and perpetuated.  On the contrary if the same people, get set to correct and show the way with half the energies spent , instead of mudslinging , the world would be a far more positive and hence happy place to live with. Struggle for your own success and do not strive for others failures. Do not report failures and negatives stories and talk about them all along .. 

We should have the habit of just calling our friends and relatives and just share positives as a habit or else each time you get a call or information from someone out of the blue, we dread to hear bad...  I think its a habit to talk, feel and think positive and that can be cultivated by doing it consciously. Just call people only if you have positive to share and bury the negative inside. Its possible and so do it

JARGON AND COMMUNICATION

                                    Of jargon and communication

When we were in the prime of the youth, there were books that we read to build the vocabulary, like Wilfred funk, norman lewis etc...  Thanks to USA ( GRE)  aspirants and IIM aspirants. Me and my friends would keep asking one another the meaning of each word and get huge and kicks. Words like rodomontade, gibberish, garrulous, rendezvous were popular and we would just revel on them. I can’t deny that, there was also a subtle arrogance on the vocabulary strength each of us had.   We were kind of ostentatious about the use of the word or knowledge of the word. I am talking about the time, where the knowledge of mobile phone, laptop, wasn’t there. Forget about android phones and applications.  The word application then meant, applying for the bank job or UPSA, APPSC etc.

These days, the jargon, the vocabulary that the technological advancements and use of gadgets has built is amazing and mind blowing as Mahesh babu utters in Dhookudu. When i started using the PC extensively and regularly, i would grope for words and expressions to express myself. Words like configure and default would never strike me and i would get amazed at “Normal people” (definition being, normally they would not know so much English vocabulary) using words like booting, router, cursor, hyperlink, pointer, versions, processor , synchronize, back up, resolution, screen saver , drag and drop, etc.

I have nothing against office boys and people who have had very less formal education , but even they use words like activate, shut down, highlight, GB, KB, memory, hard disk , space and many such words.. Actually, it is doing a lot good to them as their thinking horizons are expanding. During most times i keep wondering at the ease in the use of English in everyday life and just get into the past and keep thinking. The rampant use of Mobile and everyday advancement in the mobile technology is only helping this cause. There is this unknown binding among people as they talk the same language. Hence they get connected. The good ends here. Smsing and spell checks in mobiles and PC’s have changed the usage of English. Even i depend a lot on spell checks and the green lines that come as underline whenever there is some grammar mistake. Wonder what these green lines are called. I am challenged myself to express.

But all happens for good and all these makes life very exciting. But i can’t still get over the fun of learning the vocabulary in the traditional manner and look into Dictionary ( a Proper big fat book... Oxford, chambers etc) .. Chambers was real big fat and it was a status symbol to have this. I have often seen that sms’s have only increased the fights and insecurity in relationships and the genuine make up’s are more effective in the snail mail or the pain taken in visiting the person. Most times, the anger, temper and the bad mood would die when we took time to visit people in the absence of mobile and applications.

Technology is never bad and we all know how it can be put to best use if we optimise the usage and its best to combine with the traditional mode of learning and communicating. It only gets richer that way. There is no substitute to shake hands, hugs, and eye contact, no matter how much ever one uses the symbols and smileys to communicate all this. Bade dinonke baad chitti and the hurry in tearing the inland letter to read what my friend SVS has written or what my dad wrote when i went to Guntur is more fulfilling and inexplicable than receiving a convenient sms or a message thru whatsapp or BBM.  There is nothing to belittle anyone or anything here. I need to thank my IT colleague Prabhakar for his help in jargon and salesman in Sangeetha mobile with his natural use of English and hundreds of youngsters who are so good in the use of any new gadget.

What a wonder life is......................

CONSOLING AND REALITY CHECK

All of us live on hopes, dreams, plans, and eke out a structure to achieve all that. We fall, we crumble, we fail, and still we move on. Behind every failure and loss there is always a hope, a realization that, yes we can come back and hit the sixes and win the situation. Sometimes in everyone’s life, we experience the pain and loss which is beyond the repair and we just live with the handicap. Yes we can be detached, spiritual and continue the journey but the essence gets lost and we just live the life because it has to be led and because we have priorities and because we need to fulfil our roles and responsibilities. That zing, that un harming arrogance, the inner pep is lost.

This happens when one loses the dearest ones in life and someone fails to achieve the real big dream and just settle down for the available. The people who suffered loss also know that life moves on and that they have to get along. The world understands that and no one can hardly ever do anything and reduce the pain. The bearer of the loss knows it better. The helplessness of the other dear ones is also very appalling and suffers loss in trying to convince that, it is the passing phase and that life has a way to heal. But can any loss be substituted? We live on and we get sailed in the drama. But how does one explain what exactly happens in the person who is experiencing the loss in different ways and manners.

 Most of the time, it seems unbelievable and we question why me? Why does it happen this way? The question can never be answered to the inner self. There are scriptures, there are spiritual laws and there is a vast knowledge on everything but does it come good when it is required most. What does one do to practise? Learn detachment in the manner suitable and have the consciousness of the higher state and meaning of life. But yet, that emptiness and deep pain will not vanish and even if it does, it has to be continuously nurtured and fed with the spiritual knowledge and practise. But that essence of basic deep comfort is lost and that vacuum is never filled. It happens with the loss of a parent, loss of spouse, the best companion, kith or kin. One turns philosophical by default. I always remember jagjit singh and chitra singh and now chitra and countless number of people. My own sister, my mom, my bhabhi live thru this day in and day out and they live for others and stop living for them. There is a responsibility to be completed, a role to be fulfilled and the essence is always lost in their eyes.

Pain has 2 dimensions.. One is the direct suffering and other comes from the helplessness emanating from the suffering of the dear ones. You can never be convinced trying to tell them that they can’t miss the dear ones and that life should go on.  If you see thousands of mothers near Nilofer or any hospital , moms are praying that , they should have got the illness and not the children or the dear ones. Is this suffering any better or worse than the pain of the person who is actually sick or ill? How can we weigh who is feeling more miserable? Is the person in the jail suffering more or the wife who is waiting with huge un certainty suffering more? Is the child preparing for exams by burning midnight oil feeling more torturous or the parents who want this phase to get over feeling painful? On the easier side did the Indian team feel more depressed or the public feel terrible when javed miandad did the impossible by hitting a six of the last ball in sharjah? How does one measure pain?  Is the pain of the woman who is separated from the husband more vulnerable or the suffering of her children? Do we have the nerve to break the stereotypes and gauge and react? All of us need to invest emotional and spiritual wealth to make situations of our dear ones better.

One needs to perhaps constantly reduce the expectation from life and keep learning to be detached (detachment from the pain and from the self and not from the reality) . This cannot be taught and can only be learnt. This will be the real maturity and wisdom of the self and the society. If my niece remembers my dead brother and cries on occasions, is she unjustified? If she thinks that why she should experience this and that she can’t handle the absence of dad on occasions, is that unreasonable?  There is a bankruptcy of inner strength and real learning everywhere.. Insensitivity and surrender to the falsities of just about everything are the causes.

Grusha, my daughter was not allowed to write her SAT exam as she did not carry the Original passport to the center at Bangalore. All pleas that the passport will be got before the exam is finished was giving a deaf hearing and they just went by the rule and this rule was insignificantly printed somewhere on the website. Yes, she knows, she can write this again, yes she knows they were like meaningless in their approach and denied her to take the exam. Yes she knows, she can probably do better next time and yes she knows the money loss is still ok. And yes she knows that all the preparation versus many sacrifices and again to balance various exams and schedule will be a herculean task. 

But her question that knowing is not enough to mitigate the suffering of the loss of the opportunity was justified,  i felt for the day.. She will feel sad and get over it. But that moment and those many hours and days will be painful and will make her sad. Here it is an exam and an experience. What about something that can’t be got again? Like the loss my brother and the melancholy of my mom, sister in law and her kids or my sister... No pain is less and no misery is comparable. Every loss and pain has to be understood and accepted and more importantly dealt properly.  All of us have to live in empathy and detachment. Everything has to be valued and everything has to be forgotten. Life is now and just now...

Even if this is not spicy, good to read and a rigmarole , i still dedicate this to Grusha and Sindhu as they made me to think a lot and experience so much about life today .. Indeed our experience should always be made useful to all and hence we need to learn from all situations and not get sucked to it. Most things in life are beyond our control and understanding. Move on positively and with all empathy and detachment. This is the reality check and consoling is not enough as everyone has a natural knowledge of life and its nuances .

Lets make a difference to all the suffering souls.

THE REAL RICH PEOPLE

There is a huge difference between being able to do something and wanting to do something. It’s often people who want to do something succeed in any field and they are the ones to look up to.  This is more so in the matters of helping someone and in the philanthropy.  Like it is said, the haves will never have the heart to give away, ....  as along with the richness,  what the rich   have in abundance is the  insecurity of everything .

Giving is as much a matter of art as it is of heart... Some have the art of giving to mitigate their guilt or sin or they even give to add value to their status in society. But one need not be critical of these people as at least someone is benefitting irrespective of what the motive of the giver is ... Earlier one would protect the wealth for the joint family or the extended family. At such times, the attitude and ability to donate or share was far better despite the insufficiencies. Later the savings were for the nuclear family only and only a surplus was for the philanthropy. Now it is probably saving for the self as the trust on the kith and kin is waning and the surplus is for the family... Thank god this is not so rampant and seen only in parts.

But there is one thing that is applicable to the poor and the poor with the rich heart and that is the attitude of empathy and support, which is so unconditional or given at a very small dividend.. Their support and help is always immeasurable and in most cases un noticed and taken for granted..

 One such experience is narrated here ...  My apartments (rented) has a new watch man and his wife.. They seemed like a new couple. I would find it damn cute and touching to catch them koochi kooing and shying and talking and all that... would feel happy to look at them and ensure that i am not a disturbance even for that 4 minutes during parking the car.  Felt pity at times as to how do they find the privacy to romance and be together like a new married couple.  Alas, private moments don’t really need the privacy but, the connection and love.. One day, i couldn’t miss that they were little sad and seemed worried. I couldn’t check myself and on enquiry found out that,  the lady is pregnant ..  i don’t know, my eyes genuinely and instantly experienced moist and throat choked . I didn’t know how to react and said hope you guys are going for a regular medical check up. Much to my relief they said, indeed they were and i quickly called Prasad( watchman)  aside and gave some money to buy fruits for her and asked him to feel free for any help. I did not allow many thoughts to cross me on how they would bring up the child and all that.  But it does worry me and feel helpless.

Life moved on with exchange of smiles and enquiries for next few days..  one day, my darling grusha forgot to inform me that the next day morning , she had to wear the formal uniform to the school and she didn’t know that there would be power failure. That uniform could no way have been worn as it is. I panicked and just rushed to the watch man for a solution. He just said ,nothing can be done except a proper ironing ( press) and that he wasn’t allowed to put the coal to burn as the apartment management has instructed him not to do so till 11 am.  But he still took the clothes down and said that he will be back in few minutes. I got tensed about the delay and just rushed down to see that he broke the apartment rules and finished the job. For him it was a huge risk and he would even loose job as it happened to earlier 2 watchmen on what i think was flimsy grounds.. Oops such martial laws in apartments????

My heart sank at his gesture and i didn’t have words and expressions to convey my gratitude. He did all this as an exchange for the money i gave for fruits? No way. Not even for all the casual care that i show.  It is his attitude of helping and giving the best in that situation. Normally we take it for granted and for him, he need not have taken the risk.  His attitude and help for me was the biggest for that week and i will remember for life time. What can i do and match his great gesture. I can never repay nor can i repay all the help that i get every day from my servant maid or the guy who cleans my car or the office boy who attends to me in my office or any of the vendors who smile and give warmth for the purchase of few rupees. We all live on many such people’s good gesture and heart and we can never weigh them in currency.

These are the real rich people who seldom feel in secured the way most of the educated and decently well off people feel about many things. This includes power, recognition, fame, attention etc. The list on what aspects we all can feel in secured is endless These real rich need only 2 things.. Decent money and small recognitions in the way of a smile, a small enquiry and acknowledgement that they too are humans like you and me. Never cease to learn from so called small people...... feel the need to be more empathetic towards them and never shy from giving an impression that you are around for them. In the material sense, it will surely do a lot good for us only.  But in the non material sense , the benefit for each of us is incalculable.