GOLDEN RULES FOR FORTY PLUS

Every age that people are passing by seems more crucial and the best, that any human can experience. Or sometimes it is the age that is to come by or age that is gone by, which looks exciting. For people born in 60’s and early 70’s, their age in teen’s and youth seemed most exciting and happening as 3 crucial inventions took off big time. They witnessed the coming of Television, Mobile phones and internet as this changed the entire complexion of the world.

But the same generation did not have guts to look at the opposite sex nor behave maturely or decently and at best they were shy and withdrawn. There were taboo, and cultural hang-ups etc. For me i hadto find reasons and excuses to even talk to a girl class mate, even in10^th class. I would talk about homework or notes or some doubt and that too would be looked at suspiciously.  People like SVS wouldn’t even dare to look at them, but would read readers digest health book to know human body etc.  There are hundreds of instances to reflect on the shy, cute, silly generation which also was inimitably fantastic in thousand ways. THIS IS NOT THE SCOPE OF THIS WRITE UP.

I Remember quite vividly the song “ jab hum jawaan hongey” from Betaab and wondered how could children who have not attained puberty know about what’s going to happen. I realised that, the song was for generation next like the current ones. SO there are shocks, there are lagging behinds in each generation. But going forward, this generation of late 60’s and early’s 70’s cannot make mistakes for their future life and so here are my GOLDEN RULES FOR ALL OF US. This will make them less insecure and more at peace with the self 

1)   Do everything and anything to reduce the paunch and after this, expect not to be recognized by the opposite sex for all the hardships you did to keep fit.  Meaning... you got to do for yourself now so that you can bend forward and backward in 50’s and 60’s to do your own work. No excuses for inviting bad health or perpetuating the one you are already facing. Do not expect anyone to help you out. Everyone hates a crying baby, except mothers who at least get  only tired with crying babies.

2)   STOP expecting people to listen to you, especially your family and children. NO fundas, no gyan and if possible always be humorous as you will gain popularity.

3)   Be always ready to listen and expect people not to talk to you also, unless they have boring stuff to narrate and you are showing keenness to listen

4)   DO not get used to news channels and bhakti channels and in fact avoid all television as you will not like people and people will not like you after a point if you are hooked to TV.

5)   Have something to do on your own for 4 to 5 hours a day without depending on anyone.

6)   Be updated technologically and keep connected with what new generation likes and dislikes. Mind you, generation is not 20 years now and its only 5 years as of now, when i am posting this. You need to be accepted by 10 years of today also.

7)   You got to always keep smiling and not crib and complain. Or else this will keep people off. So think beyond you and only think above you.

8)   Stop ogling at women and girls as this is dirtiest , filthiest habit and law can get better and better and you don’t want to CHAKKI PISSING  when you are in  your 50’s.

9)   Be philosophical and spiritual in practise only and for yourself that too and do not rub, influence and preach anyone especially the children.

10)                   Have enough money for the family requirement and do not pile on the family for your needs.


Life is ridden with multiple crisis's of all kinds. You will feel ignored, your body & mind has disconnect. Probably the aging is playing on your mind. You almost lost the prime of youth and not old enough to accept that you cant be doing several things, including romance.  There is a danger that, you will end up talking to most people complaining about something of the self or others. You will build up a habit of sharing sob stories, feelings of hurt, regret, guilt etc. Trust barring one or two, no one wants to listen to pain, hurt and sad. Some of them want to listen but they themselves have so much in their plate. So not many people to listen and the only way to make them listen is talk good, talk lighter and talk useful and lace it with your issues with poignancy than obvious. 

In nut shell, There is no choice but have best health, best attitude and best approach and let people depend on you and not you on people for anything .. This is the way to be happy from mid fifty onwards. ON a serious note, one has to prepare themselves for the old age and this is the time for the 40’s age group to do so. This is the biggest investment we can make for the people we care.People in 50’s can still do all this but for them these will be silver rules only as they have lost time by watching too much of news channels and bhakti channels already.

Broadly only 2 rules....  1) Have integration and sync of what u think, to what you speak and what you do 2) know what inside you gets you recurring happiness and just build that. Do not depend, even on inanimate things. BE BINDAAS. Have an attitude of an hyderabadi of yester years.. hey mia kuch chai biskut aur paan vaan hojaaye... kya bolte tum logaa.. Have a friends club of your teen age group and retire in the same locality.

THANK YOU AND SAME TO YOU

 

                                     THANK YOU & SAME TO YOU.....

From several years, any festival or national holidays, birthdays, anniversaries of all kinds, are more gloriously celebrated on the hand sets, palm sets, desk tops and other latest gadgets. Messages, graphic images, MMS, small videos, forwards, and various other modes come and land on your mobiles in dime a dozen. Sometimes you don’t even have their names in the contact list and few times even strangers wish you. This is also the time for forgotten friends; enemies in anonymity also send their messages. This write up is not one bit critical of all these happenings.

Most times, the irritation or the absence of excitement from these messages is nothing but sheer arrogance. One may like or dislike reply or not reply but nothing wrong in getting so many messages. As a test, tell all your friends strictly not to message you on special occasions and discover with honesty how exactly you feel. In most cases you may feel ignored or something will seem missing. Cross your heart and tell yourself, don’t you feel happy even if a stranger greets you on your birthday or a passerby says Happy New Year. 98 percent of the times you will surely good about it. 

It’s ok to perfectly feel that, in our days the sankranthi was celebrated like this and like that, New Year meant this and that, or whatever. All those feelings have to be cherished enjoyed and even missed. But to condemn current practices and trend is not OK. In today’s reality, do you expect someone to come from kukatpally all the way to vanasthalipuram and meet, greet, exchange sweets, or celebrate together? One would go mad in traffic, hate people for everything after reaching destiny and everything goes for a toss and there is a loss of celebration.

Isn’t it prudent to sit at home, enjoy few jokes on whatsapp, look up at facebook and connect with distant friends and what not. IN the bargain make a nice meal and enjoy with whoever is with you and whatever you can do. Finally one has to feel happy right?  Ok, take the kid up and make him fly the kites and see if he is enjoying.  If he does, then continue. I for one still do not know how to make the kites GEETI...( knot ). So why crib, repent or relent or criticise. Just live with the reality of the times and enjoy this. Who knows 30 years from now people may not even require sending these messages, use face book and whatsapp. They will just need to close eyes and vibrate with each other by pressing a button. This generation who then will be old will say, we used to use devices to send physical text and image messages. AB Kya zamana aagaya types.

I have no shame in admitting that, i was once ( just 7 years ago rampantly, 2 years less intensely) technophobic and would look down upon technology. Today i am very dependent on them. I can get very jittery without whatsapp, cant imagine weekend without whatsapp and what do i say about my i phone etc. All these are my companions and a trust worth ones at that. They are clear in their minds. All they need is little currency indirectly. Flesh and blood requires more than money and inconsistently and contradictorily so. 

Am i suggesting replacement of flesh, blood with machines? NO NO NO... when you are unhappy with people, use machines.. ha ha ha ...  By the way my title, THANK YOU AND SAME TO U...... i spend lot of time typing this on all important days . Earlier it was a formality and now i do it by adding name and personalize it as i cherish each one of them. As after all all we need is acknowledgement and recognition and that’s what is love is all about. WHAT SAY ?

 

MY CHOICE OF GOOD LOVE SONGS .

When we like something, there is a tendency to exaggerate the value of the product to increase the intensity of our expression.  With me it happens when i like some music or some person or some good work, be it a movie or a book too. Hence when i like few love songs from Hindi movies, i wanted to call it all time best, then i thought it should be called the best loves songs after grusha was born or great love songs in last 2 decades.

I thought i should not be unfair to anything or anyone especially when i could miss lot of good work in music. I should also not disrespect anyone’s likes and tastes. Some may like something more intensely than i do. Factors that determine are Context, mind set, and hundreds of other reasons which could contribute to someone liking music intensely, despite being generally good.

So i just want to call them my choice of few good love songs and i recommend them strongly for listening and having as a special collection as these songs takes us into a journey and lets us stay there for bliss and tranquillity for good period of time. I won’t even dare to say which is top one and which is ten among my list..  it will be random ..

1)   I will start with Tujh mein rab dikhtaahai from RAB NE BANE DI JODI... This song is rendered by Roop Kumar Rathod and another version is by Shreya Ghosal.  Last Sunday when i was driving and listening to this number, tears just rolled down. This must have been some thousand and odd time i was listening.  The lyrics by Jaideep sahani is very intense. It deals with love at the different level , at the level of soul and of deeper connection. Roop kumar rathod touches the soul.. This song has to be dedicated to someone in your life whom you love unconditionally and have no expectation. Just the love in the purest form. Binge on the innocence in all aspects of the song.

2)   Kitni baatein  from Lakshya ..  Sung by Hariharan and Sadhana sargam   Music by deadly trio Shankar ehsaan and loy.. This song depicts the conflict between the mind the heart. The constant dilemmas and contradictions that all of face in the domain of love is penned wonderfully by Javed Akhtar.  Donon ke dilon mein sawal hai phir hai khamoshi, kaun hai kiska doshi “  these lines cannot be written unless someone has mastered the art of journeying into the deepest layers of the soul where the nuances of love are hidden. It takes courage to dig out such amazing selfless appreciation of love. Just switch off all lights, switch off the mind and revel by listening to this song. BP will surely normalize and you will surely call someone you love..

3)   Nahin samne from taal   sung by Hariharan and probably one of the best by Anand bakshi during his last active years. This number makes A.R Rehman stand out from the rest in the world music . It is impossible to write anything about this song. The humming, the trumpets mixed with god knows what instruments, the highs and lows   they all define the life and not the music. For me this is not just a song. This is an experience that will differ each time i listen to . Again listen  in dim lights , eyes closed and in the right company please

4)   Tum se .. this is from Jab we met. The movie scales up from this song. Pritam and irshad had no choice but give their best and shahid kapoor, story, screenplay take a high during this song. This makes us love kareena the actress and movie in general. Mohit chauhan is not the singer for this, he is the soul of the song.

5)   Sun raha hai ... This is not the music that humans can create. This just happened and the receivers were Ankit tiwari the music director, lyricist Sandeep nath and the goddess of music Shreya ghosal. They were instrumental in handing this over and making us crazy. This was like oxygen in the year 2013. Not a day passed without listening to this song since it was launched. I can only say one thing. If someone has not heard this song, he/ she is  not a music lover and someone did not like it, please stop listening to music. No one else could have sung this better than Shreya ghosal .

                

 

6)   Jaage .. this one from Guru.. can’t stop from crying every time i listen. Highest standards of music orchestration. Makes you wonder how such can a piece be composed. Gulzar sir must have felt fulfilled that his lyrics found the best rhythm. If music happens and singers are fortunate to sing, what we can we say about chitra. Seriously cannot imagine anyone else for this song. I like the Hindi version only

7)   Abhi mujh me ..  from Agneepath ..  Amitabh Bhattacharya blurs the distinction between feeling of life and death. Most amazing lyrics and soothing composition by Ajay and Atul. This song rendered by Sonu nigam has made me understand which league he belongs to. He is on par with the greats of all time. One song which i heard most after aashiqui2 in 2013. But the way it was done in the movie is farthest from anyone’s imagination. That was very disappointing  and hence just listen to the song and do not  watch this.

 

8)   Rockstar.. I will be in for a flak if i pick one song from this album. Its all the way Irshad, mohit and Rehman. But since i am talking about the love songs, i cannot stop from appreciating this line.. Tujhe cheenloo ya chodudoon tujhe mangloon ya modudoon iss lamhe kya karjaawoon....  this is an awesome song of pain of helplessness in love. Just listen and enjoy the grief and pain the song only to come out and feel happy

9)   Rashid ali and vasundhara das with Abbas tyrewala and Rehman in jaane tu ya janena. Kahin to.. perfect song for an evening . fantasy imagination  reality and love  are all perfectly blended with good mood in the song. For sure feel good song for all occasions .

10)                   Veer zaara.  Can it be any other song than tere liye by lata ji and roop kumar rathod. Can we talk of Javed sir again and late madan mohan sir. Hukum tha main jee oon lekin tere bagair..  Jalti rahe chahat ke diye tere liye.. nice old time sake senti song, traditional romantic song .

 

It is not a good idea to select few like this but these are songs that i visit at least once a month to feel relived and refreshed, not just about music but about life.  

Can people who read share their choices, not necessarily from this list. They can even  transcend time and era also.