The Today’s yesterday for tomorrow’s today
Of
late i had decided not to write serious stuff on my blog as i felt either most ideas
either get repetitive or most things are
best avoided in public space as people need and deserve more humor, lighter
vein stuff and chilled out writings. Or at best they can be therapeutic and not
thought provoking. For this reason, i even stopped focusing on what i wanted to
write, especially on the topic PAST.. A
friend of mine is very troubled by the childhood and life in her youth. Quite understandably
she is unable to get over and the past keeps coming back, manifests in thoughts
and actions. Though i took references of most spiritual preaching’s and advised
my friend not to let the past affect, i was not always convinced as it is not
that easy to leave the past. It leaves an impression, it guides us, it has done
all that it can do as a world drama does... We know lot of things, we have read
scriptures but when we face reality, it raises ugly head to hit us down.
There
is no doubt we need to move on, as the world moves on and waits for none. So
how do we treat the past and move on? I
for one realized, we cannot stay put in the past and we cannot undo the past.
We were victims, we were the causes, we were the benefactors and we were game
changers, we were everything possible. But all this are only reflections and
interpretations. How we wish it would be
or could have been? is the most useless
question that can sap all energies and will never give any answers and
solutions .
We
move on with the learning and there is no guarantee that we learn from the
mistakes and mishaps of the past as the
world reality, our world view, our experiences are so different and applying
the past principles are nothing but redundant. Everything changes and forever and
that is the law. Blaming the past, blaming the school, colony, friends,
relatives, situations, experiences have no meaning except saying strongly that,
we need to healed and we need to give the next generation the world they
deserve. Since nothing is perfect, holding on to past is inviting imperfection
now at least.
But
not everything about the past is bad, avoidable and could have been better.
Everything had a meaning and purpose and so does everything has a meaning and purpose.
Things happen for the larger good and we will never be able to fathom the
larger good if we are not objective. Trusting god is trusting in the way things
happen. Or else it all remains pretensions and falsehood.
After
grusha left for USA and after i moved into a new home, there was an opportunity,
a chance stumbling into so many photographs, quite a few cards, and letters of
friends from child hood that, it arrested me several times into those times. Honestly
letters to SVS and from SVS are very fond, intense and honest. Reading them
made me feel that nothing has changed, nor did i ? its almost like Same patterns, same immaturity, same
innocence, same irrationality and same mistakes.
So
what has changed? What changed only seem like Situations and our reaction to
situations. Our sensibilities, sensitivities
and world view have changed or is it the masks under which we are reeling and living?
Ability to handle or pretend to handle fear, humiliation, suffering, insecurity,
money, insufficiencies, death, health is better or we do not have so much time?
or we do not have time to ponder to know the self or don’t want to just know ? too many questions of the present also is
reflecting on the past..
So
do we forget the past? Can we put away the past ? We need to as the future is
based on the present and not on the past. The past has to be today’s yesterday and
present has to be tomorrow’s today. I still love to look at all my children’s
photographs, talk and remember about them. Recollection of all those lovely
moments brings past glory. I loved my 3 Grand moms and i can never forget my
brother who passed away exactly 3 years ago, can’t forget my times with my
sister and cousins.
The fights with my dad, movies watching with
him, buying vegetables with him, and all those school days where we did not
have to wear shoes, we walked to school etc.
The cycle rickshaws, the great public gardens once a month, the raja
rani park in koti, the 100 rupees crackers for all 9 kids, the 20 pani puris
for one rupee at bank street, thousands of fond memories which made us what we
are . All good and bad is the result of that. We need not disown and feel sad.
Everything had a purpose and everything has a meaning. We are just actors. We play
the role and if we did not do well in the past, we can’t brood as the role and
story is different. We need to be part of the hit movie and of the past movie
These
good alone has to heal the past and set the mood for the future. I am no better
than what i was and i may not be good in future than what i am today. But its
all ok and everything is ok. This minute, this moment what am I? Am i hurting someone
consciously or deliberately? Am i being useful?
Most importantly am i enjoying what i am doing? AM i playing the role well enough? if anything from the past helps do all these,
then use it or else let it remain an album that can flipped once a year.
Even
the remakes of the movie need to be given a new treatment and state of art of
technology and understanding. Its life and so we move on and on and on .... We are on the verge of moving into new year. Happy new year .
