GURUJII.... LIFE AND DEATH...
Knowing is only a minute aspect of life and what happens and how one experiences life is very different from the knowledge of it, most of the times. Life springs huge amount of surprises and totally unexpected situations surface, giving all of us experiences which seem common, but will always be unique. Just like how the DNA determines the characters and traits unique to each human, even the pain and pleasure though seem known will hit each individual differently.
There was (unfortunate to put him in the past tense) a guruji whom i had met while i was working for FM in Nizamabad. The first thing that appeals to anyone about him is that, despite being blind there is so much of radiance in the face and his positive attitude and energetic talk would attract people to him. He was full of life and always talked positive and would be so subtle in everything he talked and did that, it would need an attentive and caring human to understand him. Something about what and how he said would encourage me and scores of other people. Be it about my cooking, my behaviour or just about anything. He would never crib or sulk that he became blind ( he was not born blind, making it more difficult to cope up) nor did he ever talk or behave in a way that made anyone to sympathize with his state. He was fond of music and radio was his best friend and he would know all matters of the world more than what people know by surfing the net.
He had a tremendous discipline in food matters, sleep patterns, exercise, body fitness and never gave any chance or reason to skip any of these. His memory was something that would bewilder anyone who knew him. He was rational and would never be particularistic about anything that would cause any harm or inconvenience to anyone. He kept losing everything but would never lose the self. He would always wish well for all and kept cool even if people ignored him. His unconditional love was most apparently experienced by all. There are quite a few things that i learnt from him, most of all is the ability to be strong and composed irrespective of what the situation is.
I could not take his call few weeks ago and did not call him back. Today i feel very guilty. It is a strong lesson that we should never postpone to call someone or visit someone if we feel like. The last Sunday, 4th Dec 2011, my mom suddenly asked me how was he? I said i need to call him and as usual i did not call him. The next day morning at around 10.30 am, one of his disciples called me and informed me of his death. I did not know how to react. The people who were with him and spoke to him on Sunday kept saying that, Guruji expressed that he is getting a call from heavens and that he is going to go. He actually said the same few minutes before he passed away and asked his son not to worry after his death. When i was just trying to assimilate this information, i was in the office and i had to face nearly 4 different situations and respond and be there mentally. I wanted to go to Nizamabad and i was reluctant to postpone the Monday evening meeting. By the time i made up my mind in next hour and dispensed matters and people, i knew i will be late for the last rites ritual as i would not be able to reach on time. So i did not go to attend his last rites.
Life is very ironical. Death is inevitable and yes i was in office and no one could connect ( understandably) the importance of this guruji in my life and i was expected may be to be normal and continue the work as obviously they were time sensitive and had to be done. I feel guilty and i also justify for not starting on an impulse as guruji’s rationality would not allow me to suddenly jump and start going there. But its all so strange. When we know the person is alive and we do not meet or contact , we are fine with that and suddenly when we realize that , this person is no more and he cannot be contacted, is a very vague and difficult feeling to digest and suddenly we feel the loss. Is this all human life all about that death takes away everything in a jiffy? When this is inevitable why is all the negative emotions and feelings dominate us most of the times.. Inevitability of death should all keep us guarded of all that is negative. But it hits us only when someone dear passes away and lesson learnt won’t last long.
Guruji would chase people like me on phone to talk, never gave up and would try to be in touch, shower love and blessings and all unconditionally. I did not bother about him as much as he did about me. This guilt is going to be there all my life. But i will convert the guilt into learning and not commit the same mistake. Will be in touch with all the people i know irrespective of the past, as life is so short and we take nothing from this life except leave so much good like guruji. I miss you a lot Guruji alias Ramachandrananda.
Life never ceases to teach and we should only be ready to learn every minute and move on.
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