BETWEEN HELPLESSNESS AND BEYOND HELPFUL

                                 Between helplessness and beyond helpful

Reading the news paper, watching news channels have long ceased to be a source of information, pleasure or anything to do with positive aspect in life from last few years to me and is true of many others in this world i guess. But the knowledge seems like a necessary evil. At least the habit of a cursory glance at the news paper seems inevitable as old habits die hard. The beginning of the week wasn’t that good with 3 news items which attracted, bothered and had an impact on me.

1)     A woman set her husband ablaze and he died on the way to hospital. This reminded me of some debate competition about 2 decades ago, where i had mentioned a news item which said the contrast.. Man sets woman ablaze. For a second, i thought of the change in the situation. But that was just for a second. What made me disturbed were the situation and the plight of the woman who had to resort to this. Violence in any form, method or for any reason is not only condemnable but has to be detested, changed and never ever encouraged. But for the woman to send the children away and do this act.. What must have gone through her mind and the life before? Men can be extremely violent and torturous. Her husband must have been more violent hundreds of time and would have created the most helpless situation and what life that woman and children must have undergone. For her it is not the death or violence that she was seeking, but she must have longed for freedom from that suffering. Being poor and financially dependent she probably did not know how else to free herself and children from such consternation. There is no way anyone can support, encourage or sympathize with such dastardly act but can we look into her from her perspective. What will the cat do if it’s locked in a room and attacked? This murder has probably worsened her children’s condition much further as i am not sure how will she ever get over this act? Thinking all of these involuntarily makes life so sick and we are so helpless... Am i being sensitive to my environment? Am i reaching out to people and giving them hope? Is my silence and indifference perpetuating more violence? Are we all not indirectly responsible for all the mishaps which happen around..  

2)     A boy, again a poor watchman’s son gets dragged in a lift between lift and the wall and gets crushed because he was trying to put his hand in the lift. Some freak accident. But who is responsible? How can such a thing ever happen? Can it be just boy’s mistake? if yes... how many times our own children make several mistakes and are we adults watchful? What will happen to the parents? How would that boy have felt for those few minutes of the crush? Some hurry, some arrogance, some indifference somewhere of all adults? It’s very depressing to say the least. I feel i am also indirectly responsible for this tragedy and also all the adults who don’t look at the surrounding with an empathy. There is the need for the overall and general correction of the conscience of people. We are just getting sailed along to something which is probably meaningless in the large scheme of things in life.

3)     The third item is the herculean effort of the sparrow to somehow extract a drop of water from the tap on the street. Its struggle, is as silent and as helpless, as lonely battle of all others, who face situations that lead them to frustration and isolation. We can at least put some bowls of water for this voice less birds.

News papers and channels give all the news which takes us between helplessness and beyond being helpful. I am not referring or even criticizing those who thrive on watching and reading these. One more time when there is a need to reflect on the self and question as to how much are we contributing to the rut of the society and how much helpless we keep getting into.

Ahhh. Its very painful and extremely helpless.

INSPIRING EXIT.... DRAVID THE SOLID WALL

Do you know how do you feel when a watchman in the apartment or an office boy in the office or anyone reporting to you doesn’t acknowledge you by either greet, or any gesture? Naturally, neglected, hurt or some negative feeling surfaces inside you.. Unknown expectation is built up as most of us have this need to feel wanted and recognized as someone bigger, better and powerful, whatever the dimensions be. Small time artists, popular faces who are used to giving autographs or being surrounded by people, feel very in secured if the number of eyes balls on them is reduced on a particular day.

Most good women go into depression if they are not complimented enough on a day to day basis after being used to some amount of praise dosage. Film stars, and all celebrities from all walks of life get paranoid if they don’t get due attention. Often, either they are denied or they are getting in abundance to the extent of being nuisance. But the absence of it is surely felt. All attention, all acknowledgement, all recognition is nothing but power equation. Every person needs to be fed with some power and the quota varies. We can give names to the complex needs of such nature but they exist and they are as necessary as food, oxygen and money.

The power of success is not only addictive but had made people desperate. Quite a many have resorted to violence or tragedy when they were either robbed of this or when this came to an end. It happens more with women whose fame, success; recognition also has to do with handling the beauty which withers with age. Celebrity status is the most difficult curse in one sense as eternally it is a struggle to maintain and uphold the same and yet stay balanced and calm. Time, trend and change cause so much turmoil to all these people. That is why, many people do everything to latch on and compromise to any extent the values, the core qualities and the basic elements of living. The ones who come above are the real heroes and are the ones to look up to and learn and admire.

Rahul dravid, definitely not my kind of cricketer in terms of presence and influence on and off field, but he  has tremendously inspired me on his retirement. He could have hung around for easily another 2 years. Everything was still left in him,  the stamina, technique and temperament. The announcement has reflected his approach and understanding of core essence of life. There is clear absence of greed and tremendous amount of detachment. His gratitude and gesture of thanking everyone in public on his successful cricketing life, has only increased my respect for him. He has clearly brought out the SANSKARAS that he believed all his life and is so austere. He was never ostentatious; he could hardly be provoked and got into controversy. He was a silent team person and had terrific inner strength. His every quality on and off field has to be highlighted, talked about and learned by all sports persons in our country. He had so many ideal qualities that, it all got together and helped him take this decision and made him a real life hero. His learning all his life was not just attributed to cricket. The decision and the way he took it amply proves that he is an absolutely balanced guy with tremendous inner strength and is totally grounded as  human and he has not let any of his success get into his head. He is an epitome of a perfect gentleman who thinks far beyond the normal achievements and recognitions and has mastered the art of practising the basic human necessity of conquering the self and weaknesses.

I salute him for achieving as a human being what one needs to, by using a vehicle called cricketing success. The same can ruin a person and make him a poor individual. There are thousands of such people who are celebrities and who never evolve as good humans after achieving success in their field. But Rahul is one such rare, extraordinary human who has set a new standard by this great decision. Hopefully, the other senior cricketers should take a cue from him and not thwart the opportunities of several youngsters for their personal milestones. 

The end of the saga signifies the respectability that he lent to the indian cricket, the best vibes he got into the dressing rooms and that silent killing presence amidst the giants like sachin, sehwag, ganguly, etc is something that i feel like imbibing in my real world. He is a true and an ideal indian in the way he conducted himself and has increased the respectability of everyone. The ends usually makes more loud the understanding of the character of the person , as more often than not we take the silent, modest performers for granted. 

No one cricketer has won such rare writings and feed back on his retirement than dravid.  He is indeed a monk, a spiritual leader who did his karma in the most ideal manner

INSULATED ... WE ARE

                                                BLESSED INSULATION

We don’t realize how protected we are in several ways. All of us are insulated from several problems of which we probably are not even aware of and instead crib about what we don’t have. I realized this very intensely yesterday and am practising, cherishing what i have. It’s a practical experience and not a theory, to be able to feel blessed and thank god.

Yesterday for some reason i had to go an area in the evening with someone where there is no chance to park the car. I requested the gentleman to come home and pick me up in his car as he has the driver and i turned down his request of dropping me back home and i decided to take an auto and come back. This was around 8 pm and i had to travel only 4 kms. I realized that i had not taken an auto or rode a two wheeler for more than one year and half. Trust me; i could not bear the noise on the roads, not to speak about the smoke and dust. I felt i will die if i travel for 10 minutes more. It is more than asphyxiation and claustrophobia. I am born and brought up in Hyderabad and all my life i was either travelling in bus, 2 wheeler or auto which was a luxury more often than not. I never felt this bad and hopeless. Have the pollution levels gone so pathetic or my tolerance level gone so low. It could be both. Is this the Hyderabad i am born and lived all my life?

·        How are people driving on two wheelers and going in autos. How can they still be calm, peaceful when they reach home or office? What is happening to their health? Are they aware of the problems that can hit them? I was feeling so depressed thinking of auto drivers and their lives. Gali janardhan reddy’s and Raja’s , prisoners of the world should be asked to drive autos in Hyderabad. Jail life is so safe and risk free. My god, my entire life experiences turn around. I thanked god immensely after i came home. I am one of the very few fortunate in the world to be able to have the car and not travel too much. It is indeed a blessing. I empathize with all the people in the US who do not want to come back to Hyderabad and settle down. All the parents forgive those children and if you really love them and mean well for them, do not expect them to come back here.

·        Today on the weekend, i decided not to step out of home and i felt so fortunate and blessed. I started imagining all the problems that i don’t have. Thank god i am not a traffic police man; thank god i am not a push cart vendor on the roads. Thank god i am not a beggar on the cross roads, thank god i am not a sales man for the consumer goods and thank god i am not any of those people who are forced to travel in Hyderabad for long hours in the traffic.

·        I know how worse it is going to be in summer. Unless needed, people should confine themselves at home and enjoy the technology. Public transport needs to be encouraged i feel. It seemed to me that if i become the chief minister of AP for a day, i will do all that, which discourages people from driving in Hyderabad. Yes it is possible. I will do my best. will u??

LEADER AND SPIRITUALITY

                                    LEADER AND SPIRITUALITY

My Daughter Grusha’s school had an investiture ceremony on 17^th feb and like a typical proud parents we went, had fun and felt good about her and the school in general. It was a ceremony which necessarily calls for a good speech by an elder and someone who has experienced enough of life and its processes. This gentleman, the CEO of the school and ex military personnel spoke inspiringly on leadership and on who is a leader; at least it seemed for me like that but not sure, if the children ever assimilate good speeches in the environment where they would like to have fun and chill out. But certain traditions cannot be avoided and justifiably so. But it set me thinking for next few days as to who is a leader in the current circumstances. There are thousands of quotations and countless number of theories and books written on leadership and who is a leader? Every quotation and theory has limitations, is questionable and probably very situational. If Mahatma Gandhi was a leader, he was recognized for his vision and his strive to take that to a reality. Its only when he was recognized as a public figure that, his inner voice was heard and recognized. Today we talk of so many traits and inner personality of Gandhi which made him what he is. His belief and practise of Satyagraha, non violence and simplicity are among the few ideologies of the great soul that stands out and is relevant for all times and situations.

Let us take today’s situation where at one stroke, life seems very complex and chaotic. Seriously most of us do not know where are we travelling and why are we doing what we are doing. One simple reality that dominates our belief, conviction and basic living is the evil called MONEY and nothing else. May be this is the starting point of the worse to come but this evil has already changed us completely and seeped into our conscience . Today every compromise that we do, every compulsion that we will live with, can only be attributed to money. For sure , social movements will not happen, for sure people will not be honest in work situations, for sure we will all be talking about integrity and not mean it; only because we need basic money for mobile, for transport, for malls, basic status and all that is required to keep that up. Insecurity is what makes everyone stoop down to everything like never before. Truthfulness ceased to mean anything because survival is difficult with that value intact. The need to prove, the need to excel is so demanding that most of us do not think and pause on the need to uphold values. Do we have such values at all, is to be questioned and if yes what are we doing to keep this up. In this context, i am trying to define for myself what leadership is? We need to be leaders not for anything or anyone but for ourselves. Leadership is Survival instinct now, the need of the hour and extending Darwin, its survival of the leader or survival of the fittest leader.

In every situation what each of us experience is the following. Either the combination of one of them or all of them put together.

1)     Our belief or confidence is either not understood, challenged or we are not even heard and instead put down. ........ This can happen to children with parents, students in learning places, employees in office or just about anyone..  The question that should come to mind is.. Why is this so? Is this the problem of the other person or do i need to look inside and accept the situation? Here it has to be both. The other person might operate by sheer domination, authority or the from the advantage of better position or personality disorder broadly.  We might also be suffering from the same. This is an ongoing battle. How do we come successful in such a situation? Be a leader to win the self and situation. The operating tool is that, there is nothing standard. Either we give in and have patience and prove with our consistency or oppose and prove that we are right. Both of these need huge amount of perseverance and self control.

2)     Sometimes, nothing seems to go right anyway, no logic, no rhythm and we get bogged down. Even here it is the self control that works. Talking to the self and being a leader of our own.

3)     We believe in something and the situation offers something. The clash of the value system, our learning or our some need gratification for the situation can be few areas of the problem. Here again we need to win on our self rather than confronting the situation. People have ceased to be open in most cases and even if they are open, it’s very minimal and apparent and not inherent. Even, when the integrity as a value has many definitions, how can we not a leader of the self.

In the modern world, the situations are plenty and are very different to the context. But in all situations, we need to be leaders of the self and only then we can be happy. We cannot try to change the situation and be happy. This is a paradigm shift in the leadership issue. One has to be a leader in all situation and for only for the self.

The next most important question would be ...... how can one be a leader? The current need is to be spiritual. Like the word leader, the word spiritual also has many connotations and meanings embedded and so how does one understand the same? 

Here it goes from our concrete god google.... That which is spiritual is sacred and the concept of sacred is interchangeable with the concept of "holy"-a word derived from an Old English word meaning, "whole" and perfect in goodness. A religious person may be spiritual, but a spiritual person is not necessarily religious.

Spirituality refers to the evolutionary process as it drives us forward, eventually, to perfect wholeness. It relates to the expansion or evolution of consciousness. And, thus all activity-be it physical, emotional, intuitional and so forth-that leads towards greater perfection, goodness and wholeness is therefore spiritual. The scientist working, for example, on a cancer cure is involved in spiritual work, as is the diplomat attempting to bring harmony between warring parties or the artist seeking to create a beautiful masterpiece for enhancing the quality of life.

Spiritual values are qualified by ever-widening horizons, synthesis, growth and wholeness as well as greater vision, understanding and integration.

If one becomes spiritual, or if one is spiritual, then he is a leader in all situations. My definition of spiritual is to be focussing on the spirit which is you, the soul, and the human. We need to constantly talk to ourselves and focus on the self and understand the self. All of us have too much that we can shed off and just discover that inner self which is so pure, peaceful and happy. We keep adding dust and layers of unhappiness and expectations and complexities of human behaviour. A leader is one who constantly removes these layers of dust from our soul. Then the external situation or a person can never disturb us or bother us. Nothing will stop from being truthful. The money also will become less important and we will be able to all situations with equal élan. We will never be in a hurry to prove anything to anyone or get disturbed as we are in touch in our core and that is the self. We are leaders of the self and so of the situations.

Being spiritual is not going to temples, is not reading spiritual books and is not going to gurus . All of these are important only to seek knowledge or get the vibes. We need to constantly work on the self with the aid of all of these and achieve results. The result is being a leader in all situations. If in a office meeting something is not acceptable or if someone is dominating because he has the power, not getting perturbed, not losing the balance is being spiritual and being a leader. If you are not able to be balanced, then all that is learnt is simply wasted and you are not a leader.

Likewise, if you are involved in an argument, you can’t be spiritual and you are not a leader. Your sheer vibes should radiate in all situations and calm down the place and there should be an opportunity to discuss in a healthy manner. If someone is not able to help any situation for peace, amicability or solution, then he is not a leader as he is not spiritual enough to handle the situations. These are not the blame factors but to be treated as opportunities to be a leader. 

How does one become spiritual? Spend time more with the self and let the company of you with the self give the comfort and happiness. Feeling lonely is the first sign of not being spiritual. How does one love the self? By spending more time and call it meditation, prayer, music and reading or just about anything ... just reflect and be a leader. Going by our google god, being spiritual is evolutionary and being leader also is the same according to me. Hence to be leader is to be spiritual and to be spiritual is to focus on the self. The need of the hour is not to run and chase but spend time with the self, love the self and use any tool for working on these. But do not get arrested in the tool called books, worships and gurus and instead apply and reflect on the learning in every situation and be a leader.

ILAYARAJA'S SRIRAMARAJYAM...

It is easy to tell people not to be cynical and yes we all need to be positive and always hope for the good. But in the war between honesty and being positive, i think honesty and truth should prevail and will prevail. Coming to the point, it is not just in the matters of competition, war, or achievements but injustice is prevalent everywhere. These days largely it is the hype, noise, sensation that attracts the eye and only those who succeed in all that is bound to walk away with recognition and achievement. This is not just true of politics, media or business but also percolated to music and film industry.

Can we imagine, Shankara bharanam songs becoming popular today, the way it reached people then in early 80’s. The answer seems a perfect No as if that would happen,then the same should have happened to Sri Ramarajyam songs and music. Its very unfortunate and disgraceful that the music has not reached as much as it should have. i do not want to scribble any adjectives to express the divinity of the music in that movie. It deserved far greater recognition, appreciation than any other music in the last few years. It did register in music lover’s minds and heart, but did not make an impact as much as it should have. The effort of the Great Maestro is wasted in that sense. Every song and every music bit if heard in the right frame of mind and system is bound to take to a different world and when u come back, either you don’t want to live in the same world or you are transformed and you are willing to forgive everyone and everything. The complete serenity engulfs you and you just want to keep listening to the same music.

Even to say that this song is better than the other one is insulting the album per se. But my favourite is Sree Rama lera. The voices of shreya ghosal and Ramu don’t seem that of humans. It is clearly like the voices of the angels or goddess if there ever were such reality as them. The lyrics propound the value of what an ideal relationship and love between husband and wife should be. It’s beyond subtlety, expectation or any other feelings which are impermanent and ephemeral. The feelings and expressions are something that one should possess and they seem so right and achievable. There is no intension of gyan but everyone married and unmarried should listen and digest this song. After listening to this song, we feel like childishly fighting with god to make such a relationship permanent in life.

The other favourites are Seetha seemantham, ramayanamu and it can’t be a coincidence that all these songs have shreya ghosal as the singer. This lady will surpass all the greats in the singing world and if someone says she already has, i will be the first one to buy the argument. One can’t stop wondering at the making of this song. What must have happened to Raja garu before the composition and after the recording? What bliss, what divinity he must have experienced is only what he can feel and probably will never be known to anyone? For me it is more than worship in any temple, to be able to be there during such recordings. It thinks these opportunities can come only as a blessing and god knows when will that be?  Of course jagadadanda karaka is also a good song and has got the popularity it deserves unlike the rest of the songs.

One experience which is very unique is that, no other music seems enjoyable beyond few moments when ever i listen to this song. Especially in the telugu songs of late this magic isn’t in any music. Impatience is felt for other telugu songs and automatically we tend to get back to listening to Sri Rama rajayam music and more particularly sree rama lera. But one thing is certain ... forgetting the clichéd hit or miss discussion in success terms, if one listens to sriramarajyam 3 times, we are bound to get bliss and tranquillity. They say about rama katha, rama smarana that it is very soothing and we get stuck there and nothing else interests or excites. I haven’t experienced that,  but surely felt the same about the music of sriramarajyam.

Ilayaraja is a music god and one needs to touch his feet just for this music. One way of extending the happiness is to continue to listen to Geetanjali, anveshana songs of Raja garu... There is lot of sadness and unhappiness when i have to conclude writing about this piece but i will continue to revel in listening to the same. Special mention of thanks to Jonnavittula garu also for writing to suit this generation.

I will be glad if someone tell me the raga of sree rama lera song.

still loving you....from scorpions

Any piece of art or creation appeals differently to people is a known and understood reality. But how it impacts individuals depend on so many factors. Some influence in the child hood, or extremely popular art form, or something connected with one’s own experiences can be the determining factor. When it comes to music, all of us have fond memories and associations with many songs. For instance when i listen to Bhanumati songs, Geetanjali songs or Sajan songs.. i vividly remember my dad and all the memories come back stark to me and it’s almost like re living those moments with him in my child hood and in my youth.

There are hundreds of songs which strike a nostalgic chord and each of us has many experiences and memories associated with them. One such song for me is still loving you of Scorpions. Every time i listen to the song, i instantly remember my dear friend shakeel khader who went away to USA and he is not even on the face book. I tried to trace his parents place near basher bagh but failed. I and he used to revel on this song during 1990 when both of us were working in OMC computers. Listening to music to both of us was like religion. We used to talk and indulge for long. That happiness of involvement is just indescribable. I even remember how well he used to sing john denver’s song.. You fill up my senses.. Where are u shakeel? Can someone help me find him ?

Today i was going to my daughter’s school for investiture ceremony. It’s a long drive to Indus international school in Shankerpally. Good one hour and 20 minutes drive time and 70 percent of the drive is on the unpolluted roads and areas. Myself and Manas were listening to my collection of the English numbers which range from beetles to john denver to eagles to phil Collins to rainbow to led zep etc. But what was out of the world experience was listening to still loving you. I didn’t want the song to get over. It simply immerses you deeply in it and all the pain and misery just vanishes from life.

The original song itself is par excellence and belongs to all time best categories. But the new version (hate to call remix ) which is philharmonic in nature and format is just mind blowing. One has to experience this. If you are a james bond music fan, if you are A.R rehman fan, if you like Ismail darbar kind of Hum dil de chuke music, if you like zubin Mehta, Beethoven..  just imagine if all of it comes as a single master piece... can you believe it? You can’t and should not miss this master piece.. its a great work which seems like all these people sat together and created this music. IT has to be heard in an excellent music system in a decent volume in a car or in an absolutely acoustics treated studio or in a quiet place with the best i pod and a head phone.  It’s a magic and divine, real work of the best music. I always wonder how one creates this kind of music. How do they start, where do they end and how do they weave. And the conglomeration of all instruments in a very big number and perfect coordination and the rhythm sync harmony, and astounding riches of sound which is so out of the world.

No no .. one just can’t narrate the experience. One must listen to this. If you are not used to listening to these kind.. but you are a music lover.. just listen as a work , a job for 5 times and then sail along the endless timeless journey of ecstasy.

Hats off scorpions and still wonder how did they created this new version and would rehman ilayaraja have heard and if yes how do they feel?

COMMON LEARNINGS AND UNCOMMON SITUATIONS

Many a time, for the most average person like me, the distinction between thinking and worrying is not very clear and is blurred. Attitude towards everything will determine the difference. We worry if we seek benefit, if we are attached and we do not get the bigger picture. We think, i think if we have the bigger perspective, the one outside us and not for ourselves. There are 3 experiences which inspired me and want to learn from them.

1)    Few days ago, in one of my walking time early in the morning, i started strolling at the pizza hut point on the Raj bhavan Road. What caught my attention is one sight with someone looking like the lord Krishna, the one we know in the movies, television and pictures. I knew i was hallucinating and i thought so what? I just stood still and looked carefully. It was the beggar or someone who didn’t have a home or the relatives, who was waking up from the sleep or going back to sleep on a cold winter morning keeping himself warm from whatever he had. From then, i started walking just thinking about the guy, what seemed like an arrogant state of mind where i am better off than him. Then i really focussed on the thought and questioned myself.. Am i really better off than him? If yes in what way? What was bothering me was that, how would his day start? What hope does it have for the day? What will he looked forward to? How can he be normal, happy etc?

Then it occurred to me that, there are all my stories about him and not necessarily what he might feel.. Then what about me? I felt after all that i am fortunate to have in life ... every time there is some issue, some problem, some tension which keeps on bothering and worrying me. Each time the newer situation, the new issue seems bigger, difficult to handle and the older one silly and avoidable. This means that i have created a compartment in me which has to be fed with issues, problems and worries.. What if that is broken by good thoughts? Yes the habit of worrying has to be broken and thoughts have to be replaced. I have to destroy the compartment which needs to fed with negatives. After this crossed my mind, i felt he was indeed lord Krishna who made me think and realize. God has his own way of making us realize and we just need to keep our senses open.

2)    The second incident touched me very deeply. Shiva, the office boy once, supposedly took some decent money from me and he kept calling me to return the money. I was ignoring for sheer lack of time to coordinate and did not know how much money also. In one of the calls, he quoted a quite a good sum and said he has to return the same day His determination made me say ok. He came and returned first 5 figure amount and i was just baffled with his integrity and what not. If he wanted he could have easily avoided returning especially since his needs were very dear and sensitive. I remember his hardship in working as a newspaper delivery boy, pizza hut delivery boy to study and support family. His attitude to money and life has taught me indescribable lessons. Hats off shiva and you are my teacher. Such people have to be honoured always.

3)    Just yesterday, i was getting to ready to go to office and as i was locking the door, one of the servant maids of the apartment did not wait for me and she just closed the life door and went down. For a moment i felt she is so impatient and her wait would have saved some energy of power. But i decided not to take the lift and as i was walking down the stairs, i felt we all expect so much from the poor and the vulnerable. Why should i expect her to be so socially conscious when she has so much suffering in life? Are we, the so called educated and decently privileged behave and act responsibly all the time? We can afford to talk about several things because we can simply afford several other things in life. We don’t realize how fortunate we are.. Ok i correct myself and remove the plural and tell myself very strongly that i need to learn a lot from all situations around.

Humility every second, gratitude to god every moment and openness all the time enables learning and makes us richer and happier. This is my experience and i will convert these thoughts to implementation and not leave it at worrying about it... God bless all who have read this. Happy are all those who smiled after this ..